Saturday, April 16, 2011

It Wasn't Me: Part Deux

Again, another wacky toilet experience.  What is with me and broken commodes lately?  I learned my lesson the last time and, this time, I didn’t come clean.

On Wednesday, I ate at a restaurant by work and decided to use the restroom before hopping on the subway to head home.  I walked into the ONLY bathroom in the restaurant and surveyed the facilities.  They looked functional. 

I used the restroom and then I kicked my leg up to flush the toilet with my foot.  When I tapped the handle… it fell off and clinked on the tile floor!  Consequently, the toilet didn’t flush.

My eyes bulged and I immediately began to sweat.  I prayed that no one would knock on the door or hear the commotion.  That was probably a futile wish considering the bathroom door was made of plywood and conveniently opened to a group of tables and the line to place orders. 

I bent over and peered at a screw that jutted out from where the handle had been.  I figured that the screw must still flush the toilet.  So, I pushed it.

Except, it didn’t flush.  Instead, with Hulk-like strength, I pushed the screw so far back into the hole that it disappeared!  No handle, no screw, and one un-flushed toilet.  My stress level skyrocketed knowing that I would, once again, be blamed for a defunct toilet that was NOT MY FAULT. 

I quickly assessed my options and decided not to repeat my last experience.  I opened the door, scanned the restaurant, avoided all eye contact, and acted as if nothing had happened.  Then, I did what anyone would do in my situation with my history of public humiliation and… fled. 

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