A Forgotten Celebrity Sighting

Geez... so many celebrities, so little time. I forgot that we saw... wait for it, wait for it... Usher!

Ben and I, much like celebrities ourselves, moseyed out of the club for elite flyers at JFK (thanks to Ben's work trips). No overcrowded and loud terminals for us during the Thanksgiving rush! We did it right.

Instead, we enjoyed the perks of the club. We surfed the (free) internet in (free) overstuffed chairs while drinking and snacking on (free) food. We relaxed in solitude and used private restrooms. We breathed freshly circulated air as our phones charged in one of the many available outlets. Yes, the club and its amenities definitely helped us cope with the stress of traveling. Wink, wink.

We worked hard to hide our relaxed demeanors and protruding bellies as we sauntered out of club and to the terminal. We stood off to the side, not ready to join the masses quite yet. The upper crust must always have felt this way too, I thought. I browsed through a celebrity gossip magazine when Ben poked my arm.

"It's Usher!" he whispered.

I quickly hid the magazine under my arm. Couldn't let Usher catch me reading such sordid and trashy writing. Embarrassing.

I distinguished him among his entourage within seconds thanks to his faux hawk and dark sunglasses. He and his entourage strolled by and disappeared through a neighboring gate and onto a plane headed to Atlanta. I ran to the gate door and relished the last few seconds of second hand stardom.

Usher surprised me. Not only did he forgo hidden hallways and security to get through JFK, but he took his sweet time doing it. Usher knew best... "Ain't gotta rush... I just wanna take it nice and slow."

Another Celebrity Sighting

Well, time to add another celebrity sighting to the list... Russell Simmons!

My girlfriend invited me to her bachelorette party in East Hampton, which I eagerly accepted. We stayed at her future mother-in-law's four bedroom house nestled among big trees with a private pool in the backyard.  Where do I find these friends?!

One night, we ate dinner at the Georgica restaurant, which turned into a lounge/dance club later in the evening. As we ate, the waiters prepared the table across from us for a large and, obviously, wealthy party. They fluffed the flowers. Refolded some napkins. Brought out bottles of Cristal.

You know, the usual.

The party trickled in... mostly models, all young. Then, in waltzed the big dawg... Russell Simmons! I almost choked on my steak.

Later, in the VIP section of the lounge, Russell and his bevy of 20-year old models danced right beside us. Normally, the bouncers would bar me from VIP, but apparently the bachelorette party proved to be my ticket into the upper echelon of society that night. Our group danced right beside Russell. So close, in fact, his sweat flung onto me and my ponytail whipped one of the glamazons in his entourage. I used every awesome dance move in my arsenal in case he needed a short, blonde to employ in one of his multi-million dollar businesses.

Still have yet to hear from him.

Cost Effective Traveling

Ben and I found a cheaper way to travel from NYC to home... the Sky Horse Chinatown bus company. We pay $30 during the week or $50 on the weekends to ride a charter bus from Chinatown in NYC to Cincinnati, Ohio. The trip takes 12 hours. We leave a "bus station" in Chinatown at 10pm and arrive at a Chinese restaurant/Perkins parking lot in Cincinnati at 10am.

Quite a deal.

The first time we took the bus, we prepared poorly for the long journey. But, the second time, we came ready. We learned from our mistakes.

We took shots of NyQuil. We wore comfy clothing. We brought neck pillows. We donned eye masks. We wore earbuds and listened to a "nap time" playlist. We munched on pre-packed apple slices.

I left no stone unturned, nothing to chance. We took the 12-hour journey very seriously.

The NyQuil made the journey smoother. It calmed my nerves. The bus drivers weren't necessarily bad drivers, just speedy. The swerving and the feeling of veering off cliffs often startled me awake. At times, I mistook us for extras in the movie Speed or The Fast and the Furious. Except, Keanu and Vin Diesel did not appear to slow down our bus.

Our bus made four stops during the 12-hour journey. The first stop happened at about 2am at a truck stop somewhere in Pennsylvania. We switched drivers there and took our only bathroom break.

The second stop happened at an abandoned hotel in West Virginia. The driver opened the bus door, yelled "West Virginia," booted riders, slammed the door shut, and then peeled out of the parking lot with (I imagine) a wicked grin on his face.

The third stop was on a side street in downtown Columbus, Ohio. We ran into a little problem on the way into Columbus because a marathon blocked most streets. The marathon made our driver very unhappy. He yelled a few choice words and drove down several streets to park elsewhere. People with suitcases ran from every direction and chased the bus, afraid of missing their one way to Cincinnati.

The fourth stop happened in Dayton, Ohio. We pulled into a strip mall parking lot where the driver yelled "Dayton." He again booted riders, slammed the door, and peeled out of the parking lot at a rather high speed.

We left skid marks all the way from New York to Cincinnati.

At each stop, the passengers looked uneasily at each other. The driver spoke with a thick accent, so the city names sounded a little different from how a native New Yorker or Buckeye might pronounce them. People constantly checked their cell phones and googled our locations to confirm our whereabouts.

As we left Dayton and drove onto the entrance ramp to the interstate, a guy seated in the middle of the bus yelled "STOP! I need off!" Ben and I looked at each other. Poor guy. Obviously, there was no going back.

Or was there?

The driver swerved to the right ON THE ENTRANCE RAMP and slammed on the brakes. He opened the door without a word. The guy jumped out of the bus, ran across a ditch, climbed over a fence, and then walked toward town.

I. Did. Not. Make. That. Up.

We arrived in Cincinnati an hour ahead of schedule... efficient or, perhaps, very scary. We relaxed at a Perkins restaurant and gave thanks for surviving the trip until our parents arrived to drive us home.

It's safe to say that if we survived the Chinatown bus trip twice, then we will survive anything.

Where To Go?

One of my greatest fears living in New York City has nothing to do with robberies, muggings, or even murders. It has more to do with john. Or, should I say, The John... as in the toilet.

We live in an old, old brownstone with some equally old plumbing. I fear that one day the plumbing will break and leave us without a useable toilet. Ben says I'm crazy.

Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not.

We only have one bathroom in our apartment. We don't know any of our neighbors. The nearest and only "free" public restroom (in Starbucks, of course) is one avenue and two blocks away. In an emergency, one avenue and two blocks is pretty far.

So, the person who said "The only thing to fear is fear itself" obviously never lived in New York and always had the pleasure of having multiple johns in his home.

Swanky Pool Time

On Wednesday, my girlfriend invited me to the pool at the Thompson Hotel, a swanky hotel in the Lower East Side. Only hotel guests or celebrities were allowed at the pool, but my girlfriend knew an employee at the hotel that let us in to enjoy the amenities. Lucky us.

I typed Thompson Hotel into my iPhone and it took me to a different hotel in another part of town. At first, I didn't realize the mistake. I just knew to walk up to the doorman and ask for Christian, the guy who would lead me to the pool.

"Are you Christian?" I asked the doorman.

He tilted his head and cocked his eyebrow.

"Um... excuse me," he said.

"Are. You. Christian?" I asked again.

"I, well..." he stammered.

By this point, I stood very confused.

He continued, "I'm Catholic. That counts as Christian, right?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "I mean, is your name Christian? Not your religious affiliation!"

I finally made it to the right place 

and enjoyed this view for the next couple of hours. 

Pretty, pretty nice.

Locked In

My girlfriend, Jennifer, vacationed in NYC and stayed with me for a couple of days during the week while Ben was in Washington DC for work. I planned to leave early for work on her last morning in city. The night before Jennifer left, I showed her how the automatic door lock worked so that she would not need a key.

I opened the door, flipped the switch, and let the door slam shut.

"Easy!" I exclaimed.

"Easy," repeated Jennifer.

I reminded her that once she shut the door from the outside she would not be able to get back inside the apartment. So, if she forgot anything, I would mail it.

Everything seemed fine and dandy.

I woke up early the next morning. Got ready for work. Tiptoed to the door so I wouldn't wake Jennifer sleeping on the air mattress in the living room. Grabbed the door handle and tugged. Tugged again. Tugged a little harder. Tugged with all of my might. Tugged with both hands on the knob and one leg on the wall.

The door did not budge.

Jennifer, awake by now, laughed. I panicked. I called Ben who vaguely recalled that the automatic lock was broken. Not only does it lock people out, but also locks people in!

Jennifer laughed again, but this time a little panic crept into her voice.

I called our building superintendent to help, but he had a doctor's appointment in Brooklyn and would not be in our building until after 10am. What?!?! Work would be half over AND Jennifer would miss her flight. Uh oh.

I then emailed my principal and told her that I would be late for work because I was locked in my apartment. At first I worried that she would think I made up the story, but the whole situation was so absurd that I knew she would believe me. And, she did. She mainly worried about our safety, which I said was no big deal. If needed, we could climb onto the fifth story fire escape and shimmy down to the ground. In fact, I assumed that was how Jennifer would have to leave to get to the airport on time.

A few minutes later, our super called back and called his brother who came an hour and a half later to unlock the door from the outside. I could not thank him enough. He just shook his head.

We survived. Crisis averted. Mostly.

16 Again

The other day, my girlfriend drove four of us in a car to our monthly book club meeting. A car! Ah, the luxury. A beautiful, quiet, clean, climate controlled, uncrowded car!

Nobody pushed me when I opened the door. Nobody crowded me. I had a good 12 inches of buffer space all around me. Honks, street noise, and people yelling were inaudible. The temperature stayed below 100 degrees. The commute turned easy, almost effortless.

Excuse me while I sit back I relish the memory.

Ah...

I feel 16 years old again whenever I ride around the city in a car. It's like one of us just got her license and her parents let us borrow their wheels for a night of freedom. A friend with a car is a rare find in the city. A true gem.

Thank you to my friends who have let me sink into their backseats and join them for the ride.

Watch Out Below!

Earlier in the summer, I waited at the crosstown bus stop in the early morning with a dozen other New Yorkers on their way to work. Everyone stood quietly and read their papers or sipped coffee or closed their eyes for those last few minutes of solitude. The only sounds belonged to cars driving by and honking.

Suddenly, a woman screamed and everyone jerked their gazes in her direction. I couldn't see what made her scream, but everyone started to hop around... something... moved... weaved around feet and bags...

Then a huge and extremely disoriented (or brave) rat escaped the crowd and commotion and ran by me. Pretty sure he winked and flashed a thumbs up as he sped down the sidewalk.

Unfortunately, the lady a few feet away wearing earbuds and listening to music missed the excitement and the rat ran right over her feet. It literally ran across the top of her sneakers. She shrieked and we looked on, horrified.

My only thought... groooooooss.

Picnic in the Park

On Monday night, Ben and I joined friends on the Great Lawn in Central Park for a free concert by the New York Philharmonic. As expected, people crowded into every available space and corner with picnic baskets full of food and drinks. The ground quickly became a patchwork quilt of tarps, blankets, and beach towels.

For awhile, the five of us crowded into a pretty tight space. Our blanket was definitely not spread to its full capacity. Only two could stretch their legs at a time and poor Reed sat with his legs at an odd angle for the first half of the show, but he never complained. Good sport.

During the second half of the show, a huge group in front of us moved and left a large open spot. We pounced on their spot and stretched our blanket to its full queen size. We felt like royalty.

Real estate in New York is hard to come by whether you're looking for an apartment, seat on the subway, or a spot of grass in Central Park.

Jimmy McMillan Knows

Sadly, the Gap store on 86th and Broadway closed. Before they closed the doors forever, I bought one last item and cried a single tear for the store that had served me for so long. Where would I get my wardrobe staples now? The Gap on 86th and Broadway was within walking distance.

As the cashier put my new purchase in a bag, I casually asked why the store was closing. He shrugged his shoulders and replied, "They raised the rent so Gap didn't resign the lease." I gasped.

They raised the rent. Expected. They raised the rent so much that even the Gap can't afford to stay?!?! Shocking.

Jimmy McMillan, a beloved NY politician from The Rent Is Too Damn High party (Republican according to Wikipedia), is right... it's time to get out of the city because "the rent is too damn high!"

Hot Times

The other day, a handful of fire trucks parked outside our building with their lights flashing as a dozen firemen searched our building for a "gas leak." Apparently, one of the residents in our building smelled gas and called 911. Fortunately, the firemen figured out that our building superintendent had used a lot of WD-40 on all of the third floor door hinges earlier in the day and that caused the smell.

Once I knew we were out of danger, I returned to lounging on the couch and reading a magazine until Ben got home from work. About five minutes later, I heard heavy footsteps running down the hall. Our apartment door swung open and Ben burst into the apartment, frantically scanning the room until his eyes settled on me.

"Whoa," I said. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Ben replied, out of breath. "I saw all of the fire trucks and got really worried... I thought you tried to cook dinner again."

Latest Celebrity Sightings

People love to ask if I've seen any famous people. Below is a rundown of the celebs I've seen randomly in the past couple of months around the city.

1) Zoe Saldana

Ahhh... so much to say about her. She is a film actress and has been in movies like Avatar and Center Stage. We saw her at The Spotted Pig restaurant in the West Village. She sat at the bar with a friend while we waited (unsuccessfully) for a table. She was so beautiful that Ben, my girlfriend, and I couldn't stop gawking. No one else in our party seemed to care, but it's all we could talk about for the next 20 minutes, hours, and maybe days. I made mental notes to choose a healthy entree for dinner, start working out that night, and get Botox.

2) Countess LuAnn de Lesseps

She is from the Real Housewives of New York City television show. We saw her at a fundraiser in the Lower East Side. I recognized the countess immediately and almost dropped my mojito. I tried not to stare, but couldn't help it. The countess sashayed around the room (sans cameras) obviously looking for someone... sadly, it wasn't me. She exited the room and my girlfriend and I looked at each other, bummed that she didn't perform her hit song "Money Can't Buy You Class."

3) Richard Belzer

He is from the Law & Order: SVU television series. We saw him at one of the best places to relax and hang with friends, the Boat Basin restaurant in Riverside park along the Hudson River. He happened to walk by our table and my girlfriend recognized him.

4) Mario Cantone

He is an actor and played one of Charlotte York's best friends on the Sex and the City television series. We saw him in the Chelsea Market (a great place to visit when needing respite indoors). 

 5) Richard Sommer

He is an actor on the television series called Mad Men.  We happened to walk past him in Chelsea after having brunch with friends. I think he had just had brunch with friends too. See, everyone, US Weekly is right... celebrities are "just like us."

Ireland: Last Night

Here is the very last post about our European vacation... one year and many, many posts later. My grandpa once asked, "When will it be over? It feels... interminable." Now, grandpa, it's over now. I promise.



We left Spain and spent the last night of our month long European adventure in Dublin, Ireland. Dublin did not disappoint. It sure packed a punch for such a small city.

We enjoyed the evening walking through the downtown and moseying into restaurants and pubs, most of them in buildings older than our country. We met locals and tourists, including a couple of footballers and an Elvis impersonator who worked at the local casino. Elvis invited Ben and I to gamble for free at his casino, but I declined for the both of us despite the dollar signs that flashed in Ben's eyes. No need to end a perfect vacation losing money in a windowless building with the King of Rock 'n Roll. That wasn't how I envisioned the end of our journey.

The last place we ventured into for the evening had a great classic rock band that played a mixture of American and Irish music. We made some new friends while singing American hits at the top of our lungs, readying ourselves for the trip home.

The band at its best.

Representing the stars and stripes among the locals.

Walking through downtown.

Spain: Beach Bunnies

The beaches in Barcelona rocked for many reasons, but mostly because "food vendors" (I use that term loosely) walked by sunbathers and sold big pieces of real coconuts, which I excitedly bought. Surprisingly, real coconuts taste completely different from the coconut shavings I usually eat... those found in the gooey richness of Almond Joy and Mounds candy bars. The coconuts in Barcelona tasted nutty, kind of like almonds.

I couldn't get enough.

I don't think it's too late to start this trend at Long Beach on Long Island...

Spain: Jennifer vs. Itty Bitty

Our hotel sat pretty close to the famous La Seu cathedral in Barcelona. This cathedral experience was like most of my European cathedral experiences... shaming. Except, this time, I refused to spend more money on scarves to cover my "scandalous" attire.

Instead, I munched on two Nutella croissants and surveyed the exterior while Ben marveled at the interior. Ben took plenty of pictures and that worked fine for me. Next time, I'll pack something a little more appropriate.

What was I thinking showing my knees and shoulders? Cover yourself!

Inside the La Seu.

Interestingly enough, I saw a picture online of Jennifer Aniston and her boyfriend on a tour of the Vatican several weeks ago. I immediately wagged my finger at Jennifer's outfit. Her short dress definitely raised a few holy brows, right? Amazingly, or by divine intervention, no. She passed inspection and got inside the most holy city on Earth wearing the dress below.  

Somebody got off a little easy...