Check out the pic I just took with the iPhone while driving through
Times Square. There's nothing like opening your window to the sweet smell of exhaust and the contagious excitement of the holiday season in New York City.
Glad to be back!
Okay, last story about my parents’ visit. I promise.
My mom and dad visited my school the Monday that they were in town. I took them to several classrooms where they were “guest readers” and answered questions from the kids. I had warned my dad that most questions would probably stray from “The Giving Tree” and center around, well, whatever happened to be on the kids’ minds at the moment.
One little girl in the second grade classroom timidly raised her hand.
“How old are you?” she asked.
“How old do you think I am?” my dad asked back.
“Mmmmm, 40,” she said, thoughtfully.
“Oh, I LIKE that number,” replied my dad.
Several kids then shouted out numbers in the 40-50 age range.
During this conversational exchange, I watched one little girl’s face wrinkle in confusion and disbelief. Obviously, judging by my dad’s white hair and beard and wrinkles, she knew better. I realized where her thinking was headed. So, naturally, I called on her to comment next.
“I think you’re more like… 100.”
You could hear my dad's laugh three floors down.
* * * * * * * * * *
Parents’ roundtrip plane tickets to NYC: $600
Taxi fare to school: $15
Seeing dad’s reaction and hearing his laugh when told he looks 100 years old: PRICELESS
Taxi rides stressed out my dad just a tad when my parents visited. My dad texted “I think we may die” on their way from the airport to the hotel. Followed shortly by “Is there a hospital close to you?” The driving didn’t faze my mom, a regular on the New York scene.
My dad feared for life every time he slid onto a taxi’s cool leather seats. If he wasn’t clutching his chest or wiping beads of sweat from his forehead, he was frozen with fear and unable to respond to even simple yes/no questions. I swear I saw the last few gray hairs in his beard turn white during sudden stops and swerves.
He finally found his voice after one taxi ride and exclaimed, “I swear they try to kill me!” To which I emphatically responded, “No, no, no! In New York, that’s what we call EFFICIENT.”
Time is money, folks.
Not everyone has the same taste.
I visited a kindergarten classroom and greeted a tiny guy whose hands, when outstretched, fit perfectly into the palms of my hands. I asked him to come with me and he obliged. As we walked down the hallway, he glanced my way and said, “I really don’t like your dress.”
I raised my eyebrows and replied, “Interesting… because I wasn’t really sure if I liked this dress either. What don’t you like?”
I didn’t really expect a response related to my fashion question considering the student was five and probably had no idea what I was talking about, but, then again, kids always surprise me.
“I don’t like pink. It’s not my favorite color.”
And, I thought I was looking good that day.
A big white tent blocked the sidewalk and forced me to take a mini-detour on my way to Barnes and Noble tonight at 66th and Broadway in the Upper West Side. Naturally, the big white tent interested me very much. So, I peeked inside and asked a bouncer what was going down on this seemingly mundane Wednesday night…
A movie premiere! Cameron Diaz and other celebrities were on their way for the premiere of their new movie “The Box”. I swear, only in New York, on any given day, could I leave work and pass a movie premiere on my way to the bookstore. Ridiculous!
Now, I know what many of you are thinking – did I stick around to catch a glimpse of Cameron Diaz? No, no, no… I have a life, people! I can’t chase every celebrity that I come into contact with around this town.
Plus, I already saw her once about two years ago at a karaoke bar in the East Village. And, the last thing I need is for her to yell “stalker” as she walks down the red carpet. So, I thought it best to keep a low profile and instead blab about it on my blog J
Consider the tips from the past five days an inside New Yorker’s guide to proper bus and subway etiquette. Follow the tips, and you practically eliminate the initial impression that you are a tourist. Easy and simple. Now, pack your bags and come visit the greatest city in the world!
