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Miami ruled! I am revitalized, tan, and relaxed. For three days, I relished the view of a beautiful blue ocean lined by white sand and neon green thong bikinis. Oh, yes. We saw more thong bikinis and topless sunbathers than I care to count. The views were, how can I say it, something else.

Food wise, we no doubt consumed 4000+ calories a day, which wasn’t too hard. We ate ice cream twice in one day and shared 5 bags of candy over the course of three days. I ate mini-sliders and bacon wrapped scallops, sending my cholesterol levels through the roof. Needless to say, my two months of gym membership never happened the second I stepped off the plane.

Our daily agenda involved waking up (late), putting on our swimsuits, eating a huge Denny’s sized breakfast on Ocean Drive for $4/person (unheard of in New York), tanning, dipping in the ocean to cool off, tanning some more, getting ice cream, tanning again, snacking, moving from the beach to the hotel pool, showering, and then changing into clean clothes to eat dinner and go out.

I get jealous of myself just thinking about it.

Buenvenidos a Miami

This weekend, we are going to M-I-A-M-I with a group of friends! I know, I know… we are SO LUCKY. But, a vacation this awesome comes at price… a price that we have been paying for over the last two months (and not just financially).

This entire week has been dedicated to becoming over-processed and preparing ourselves for the beach. No wonder celebrities look so good. This is a full time job.

At the end of February we joined the gym since Miami is THE plastic surgery capital of the world (according to “Nip/Tuck” and me). I know what you are thinking, but we want and we need to look sort-of-kind-of-almost in shape. Plus, it’s for our health… right?

Every night after our work out, we self-tan with Jergen’s Natural Glow. Oops! Did I say “we”? I meant me. Most beachgoers will be tan, and I don’t want to be the only one that reflects the sun’s rays with an albino-like body.

I got my haircut and highlighted since the south welcomes blondes. Thankfully, Ben did not follow suit with that item on the checklist. He did give himself a haircut, though, which is an entire blog post unto itself.

I bought new sandals and a dress to wear, and have had them packed in my suitcase since Sunday. Only two days until our plane lands in the land of beautiful people, beautiful beaches, and beautiful sunny days. Can't wait!

Traveling Solo

Ben travels a lot for work, and he’s good at it. He rearranges flights and only packs one carry-on. He volunteers his seats and doesn’t worry when flights are delayed. He’s pretty professional when it comes to flying, and doesn’t understand why my blood pressure shoots through the roof every time I book a flight.

I only fly with true confidence when with a partner, and totally stress out when alone. I will quadruple check my boarding pass, count and recount my bags, park myself in the closest chair to the gate entrance, and ask the flight attendants ten times if I really am on the right flight.

I usually call Ben from the airport, at some point, in a mild to moderate panic that slightly borders on hysteria. It’s inevitable.

Last Friday, I couldn’t find my flight and, therefore, couldn’t print off my ticket. I tried to check in with Delta instead of Northwest. Oops.

I then waited in the wrong security line before reaching my gate looking even more frazzled and disheveled than earlier (if that was possible). Ben called as I quietly gathered my thoughts and waited by the gate.

He said, “While you’re there, you should try to volunteer your seat, then get a voucher, and then reroute yourself to Lexington or possibly Cincinnati. Maybe you can get a direct flight.”

Oh, really. Really? That’s the best idea for me? I barely survived CHECK-IN, squeaked through SECURITY, barreled down the hallway and took out a small family of four JUST to get to my gate on time. And, now, I should REROUTE myself?

I. Don’t. Think. So.

Confessions of Shopaholics

I received a lot of responses to the previous post, “Shake Your Money Maker.” The biggest lesson learned… I am not alone. There are many of us out there trying to have it all – clothes, accessories, shoes – and using untraceable means to purchase it all while sidestepping very observant husbands.

Shake Your Money Maker

I admit it.

I USED to be a shopaholic. But, I put those credit card wielding days behind me once I married Ben. He's a saver, not a spender. A good thing, until I see something I really want... a new pair of sandals, a new dress, a new shirt, new perfume. You know, necessities.

This weekend, as I shopped with one of my best friends, my old shopping ways returned with a vengeance. Old habits (especially those that provide instant gratification and make you look good) die a very, very hard death.

We stood just outside the cashier line and debated the most effective way to purchase pairs of jeans without our husbands knowing. This is an especially difficult feat for me considering Ben watches our finances like a hawk, perched high on a rolling chair behind a computer that he linked to our online credit card account from work.

So, we stood.

Conspired.

Finally, we decided on a plan of action. As a former money launderer with Phil's credit card during college, I knew what to do. And, so far, the option we chose seems to have worked.

The lengths, the risks we (girls) go to shop.

Home Sweet Home

Soon, I will hop in a cab. He will drop me off at LaGuardia airport, and I will board a plane to the best place on Earth... home.

I can't wait to reconnect and be with family and friends that I haven't seen in months and, in some cases, years. The excitement that continues to build is overwhelming, and has kept me up the past two nights.

I can already see the "Welcome to Kentucky" sign. My eyes tear up knowing who will be waiting for me. This week will be perfect.

Pros & Cons

Pro: Fruit stand vendors steps outside my place of work and on every city block.
Con: From where exactly does this fruit come?

Pro: No need to be tan in the North. No one is tan.
Con: Pasty and pale all year round.

Pro: Never wear high heels; therefore, feet never hurt.
Con: Lost four inches of height and have a box of unworn stilettos stuffed under the bed.

Pro: Get daily exercise by walking everywhere since we don’t own a car.
Con: Pass bakeries and sweet shops every two blocks.
* Pro and con cancel each other out.

Pro: Get/read/love New York magazine. Makes me feel like a more authentic New Yorker.
Con: Makes me realize how much more I have to do!

Pro: Small apartments mean less accumulation of junk.
Con: Size really does matter.

Pro: Live in the fashion capitol of the world.
Con: Shopaholic unleashed.

Pro: Live in the city with everything in the world to do.
Con: Costs mucho dinero to do it all.

Pro: Take cabs everywhere.
Con: Costs $$$ and causes motion sickness.

Pro: Never have to drive.
Con: Crowded and germy subway poles and bus seats.

Pro: Don’t worry about appearance because run-ins with friends or acquaintances are rare in a city of 15 million.
Con: Don’t worry about appearance and then actually run into friends or acquaintances.

Reflection

Baby Shower (City Style)

Several weeks ago, the girls at work held a baby shower for our boss. It was not your typical Saturday afternoon-sunny-pink-and-white baby shower. We don’t roll that way in New York City. We New Yorkers like to make it a little more interesting, a little more “Sex In The City” and a little less traditional.

Our shower started at 7:30pm at a new Asian fusion restaurant in the Upper West Side called Fusha. Naturally, the party ran a little late for a weeknight. What’s not to celebrate when a new baby is on the way?!

We dined on sushi and glasses of wine while our boss opened presents on a sleek mahogany table dotted with pale pink and blue baby booty confetti. Soft baby blankets, lacy bibs, delicate dresses, and tiny onesies blended nicely with the chic restaurant décor. We playfully estimated the circumference of our boss’ expanding belly as our waiters refilled glasses and bowls of steamy edamame.

Games at showers are always fun, no matter where they’re played.

The shower was a total success, and the dance club music that thumped in the background added a little bit of flavor to the night. I’ve been to several showers, but none had quite the uniqueness or the element of “city living” as this one.